Top 20 Colin Jost Quotes

I never came out to the Hamptons when I was younger – it was always a fancy and exotic place.

I always tell people, when they ask me what to do to be a writer or to be a performer, the key is to go to a place where there are a lot of other people who are trying to do the same thing as you and taking it very seriously.

I honestly think that Donald Trump’s only adviser is his doorman.

I did go to college with him, but everyone’s always like, ‘Did you meet Mark Zuckerberg? Did you hang out with him?’ and I’m like, ‘No,’ because he was in a lab creating Facebook, and I was, like, learning about alcohol. Well, we did go to school, and I think I’m not really benefiting from that relationship in any way.

When I started at ‘SNL,’ I was lucky to start early. So now starting on ‘Update,’ I am the age when most people are when they start doing that. It feels like a different world and capacity, like starting over in another challenge. A heightened challenge.

When I was 10, I went to the Junior Olympics for the 50-meter and 100-meter breaststroke.

My mom was the breadwinner in my family. I always thought, ‘That’s how it is.’ I never thought that was the exception.

Montauk is a little more raw and rugged than the other parts of the Hamptons, and I like that.

I’m a 12-handicap.

Almost all the golf courses in Staten Island double as something else.

Each week, we might write 500 jokes for ‘Weekend Update,’ and ultimately, we can only do about 10.

I didn’t understand when somebody thanked me for writing a good sketch, because it was something I wanted to do, but now I totally get it, because when someone writes something great for me, I’m so appreciative.

When you contribute to food banks or give money that goes to having meals delivered, you’re meeting the most basic need. It’s such a direct way to help.

Having Twitter on your phone is like being with a journalist that hates you 24 hours a day. Anything you say on that can be spun. Truly, that’s what you have to think of it as.

I commuted an hour and a half each way to high school in N.Y.C. I took a bus, a ferry, then a subway.

Whatever I did, I always gravitated toward trying to be funny. If I was with friends, we were joking around. If I wrote for the newspaper, it would be a humor column. If I acted, I wanted to do comedy.

I chose to buy a house in Montauk because it has a sleepier vibe than the rest of the East End. I also felt that I would run into city people in East Hampton and wanted more of a buffer.

I’ve played at the Comedy Studio. I never did as an undergrad, but I have in recent years, whenever I’ve gone back to anything at Harvard, I’ve tried to go there and do some sets.

The first joke I ever told on stage was a golf joke.

Staten Island is segregated, but it’s also – I don’t know. It’s, like, it’s not – it’s not unprogressive.